Old Wives tails (and some fishy tails too)

Got crabs? We have!
Lots of crabs from swimmer crabs like these……………..

and also “poo dum” or “black crabs” like these. Similar to the Aussie, Philippine or African mud crabs, but a little smaller, like the Indian versions.

At the market you can get live crabs, or fresh picked crab meat.
The mud crabs are very inexpensive.
About $4 or 100 baht for 6 or 7 small ones.

As promised, here I am, still in the beautiful but moody Krabi, armed with photos of the local fresh seafood and my patented mindless banter.

For the first few, I won’t even attempt to be educational and holier-than-thou. Mainly because I am still fairly new here, and getting to know the ropes, so to speak.

Needless to say, the fish are fresh, tasty and also colourful.

Here are a few “pla dook” – the tasty catfish. You can tell by the whiskers, but don’t bother listening for a “meow” – you’ll be out of luck.
Soft, tasty flesh. And very clean tasting for a freshwater fish.
My favourite in a Thai salad. Also nice just barbequed over charcoal.

Here we have some sundried fish, with a few bunches of very fresh Thai holy basil behind them. I’m not sure of the exact process here, but………………
Yum.

There really are too many fish to mention.
Had I spent the last 15 years here, butchering their pretty wee bodies into a thousand forms of culinary delights, I would no doubt be prattling on with the genus, species, dietary habits and bedroom preferences of my piscatorial partners.

These critters are similar to whiting.
Great to deep fry but a bugger to fillet.

The truth is that I just LOVE the way they photograph. Just awesome.

By the way, if you are ever in Thailand trying to hunt me down (eg.  Russian Mafia,  a woman who stalks handsome, talented chefs, or possibly a debt collector from my teenage years) – I am easy to find.
Look for a very, very white guy, except on my slightly sunburnt arms and neck – who is walking around taking photos of everything to the bemusement of locals and passers-by.

Here we have some of the biggest surf clams I have ever seen.
Not like the giant ones that trap divers feet from the Robert Louis Stevenson books – but big for cooking and eating. they look like giant oysters inside, and I suspect that they could be eaten as such.

here, some grilled fish. A little oily and fishy, so great with a lime and chilli based sauce which compliments it perfectly. Also nice mashed into a “nam prik” – spicy chilli dip for poking vegetables into and eating like we Antipodeans do with carrot sticks and cream cheese

Now for a couple of things that probably DO need some form of explanation.
THESE are a specialty of South Thailand – a form of “tod man goong” or prawn fritter, but unlike the usual tod man pla or prawn fritters, these are made with whole baby prawns fried in a batter.

One would imagine that chewing these prickly critters would be a hellish task, but in actual fact they are tasty, light and easy to chew and swallow.
I was a bit of a doubting Thomas at first, but converted to an ardent admirer halfway through my first fritter.

Next is an extra from a Doctor Who movie, (or a new, automatic US land mine built especially for the deserts of Iraq for our younger blog readers who may not know Dr Who).
No, of course I jest. This IS a strange looking fellow though.
In Thai it is called “Maang daa”.

At this point, my Thai viewers will be falling around laughing, as “Maang Daa” is a derogatory term which basically translates as “Pimp.”
Not the Austin Powers variety, with the felt hat, the medallion, the afro and the bell bottom tights.
Just the unsavoury leech with no morals who lives off the profits of selling unwilling women.
A form of crustacean with a LOT of shell, carapace and armour, and a wee bit of tasty meat, these can be found in the seas all around Thailand.
There are actually THREE “Maang daa’s”.
1/. A water beetle like a very large cockroach, which is peeled open and the caviar-like exterior is eaten. Best after some Dutch Courage spurred on by consumption of about twelve Heineken.

2/. These armoured crustaceans -  Maang daa Talay (Talay means sea, or ocean)

3/. Our friend, the sleazy but street-wise pimp, from whom these two food sources derive their name.
‘Maang daa talay’ are a little more work than prawns and lobster, but worth a try.

Next is DEFINITELY worth a mention.
‘Pla meuk kai’ is squid, with ‘eggs’
Basically grilled, whole fresh young squid, or calamari, filled with squid roe, which becomes translucent, gelatinous and appealing after a bit of a marinade, basting and some thoughtful grilling over natural charcoal.
YES. YES. YES. Very tasty stuff, and most markets have both these, and ‘regular’ grilled squid, and also grilled octopus skewers.

Stingray frequently makes an appearance – or “pla kra ben” with a rolling ‘r’ sound in Thai.
Back in Australia we call it stingray, so it is cheap, freely available and normally unwanted.
The better restaurants call it “skate” like the Europeans do, and charge a bloody fortune for it.
Here in Thailand it is pretty cheap too – but very much appreciated. 
Did you know that stingray can be braised for a fair while without losing texture or drying out like fish does?
A quick tip from me – season and flour stingray/skate after filleting.
Pan fry till it smells sexy and delicious.
Add liquid of your choice to match the seasoning, and simmer for 10-15 minutes to reduce the liquid to an awesome sauce, then BINGO! Dinner.
You will drool and slobber.

J P Bruneteau, a very talented chef who wrote the book “Tukka” taught me a great recipe.
Season stingray fillets with salt, pepper, flour and paprika.
Panfry to seal in flavour and brown the flour and spices. Remove from pan for a moment.
Saute finely diced onion, garlic and a hint of fresh red chilli.
Add picked thyme leaves, bay leaf and put stingray back in the pan, the “deglaze” the pan with aple cider. I use apple juice AND a nice cider. Like scrumpy jack!
Simmer 20 minutes, to reduce the sauce to a glazing consistency, then serve that bad boy with a big smile and some clean utensils.

If eating alone, yes, you will get fat. Not because it is fattening, but because you will clean your plate and then go looking for more.
If cooking for others, you will NOT get fat, unless you are the biggest, strongest Alpha male. Because there WILL be a fight over portioning, and the survival of the fittest applies when it comes to getting your share of the braised stingray. It’s that good.
Additional bonuses to making this for others, you will receive compliments, and, if they follow etiquette, they should have paid for the wine

Why not have it in a green curry instead?
Dust the fillets in flour mixed with salt, pepper and crushed coriander seed, and panfry in a little hot oil again. Remove from pan.
Saute some crushed garlic, then add in green curry paste and cook a  minute or two until aromatic.
Add coconut milk little by little, cooking out each time, then add the remaining coconut milk, and toss in the small pea sized Thai eggplant, some torn kaffir lime leaves, and a little bamboo.
Put the stingray in, and simmer about 15 minutes very gently.
Take care not to reduce the sauce too much or the coconut milk will split. Not good.
If getting to thick, add a little water.
Seasoning at the end is easy.
Balance the flavours with a LITTLE sugar, fish sauce to taste (Tiparos brand is good!) and some lime juice, (fresh) if you think it needs it.
Lastly, throw in your choice of sweet basil leaves OR fresh cut coriander. NOT both!

Serve with steamed jasmine rice, OR if you want to confound and impress your guests, ladle it over Khanom Jeen noodles (as shown and described in the last post “bai talat”)

If you are not into Idol Worship (a figurine of ME!)  or posting cheques to culinary bloggers, then I’ll make do with you leaving a comment to let me know how your meal turned out.
Over and out – I’m off for a swim at Ao Nang beach to relax and unwind. This blogging is hard work.